Rachael Starr's eerily accurate & hilarious horoscopes for the week of July 24-30
Though many of us often feel as though we are lying in the gutter, we can be thankful that we can always look to Rachael Starr’s savant interpretations of the night sky to guide us through life’s difficult, and sometimes mundane, decisions. Updated regularly, be sure to check in before emailing that old flame, buying stock in major American financial institutions or checking those self help audiobooks out of the library.
For the week of July 24-30…
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
It won’t take much to make you amorous this week and the object of your desire might be caught a bit off-guard. Make sure you give lots of warning instead of just pouncing. Speaking of which, make sure you look before you leap.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Often we don’t know how someone sees us, and it is nice to hear it. Compose an email telling them how much you admire them and why and then ask them to pay it forward to someone else. You could single handedly start a wave of joy.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
You are so determined to prove others wrong that you will put your own happiness at risk. While your determination is admirable, it is misdirected. If you really want to know the truth, ask someone in your family whose advice you value, even though you already know the answers. It is better to be realistic than right.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
You can be one intense mo fo but sadly it is missed on many. Your humour can be so sharp that people don’t realize they’ve been cut. As much as you try to use your powers for good and not evil, it is very difficult. This week you might just find it way too hard to resist, and succumb to the dark side.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
This week a spark of misunderstanding can create a raging fire of doubt. Don’t let this burn out of control. Be willing to listen to the other side and remember that you just may be more than a little sensitive right now. Pay close attention to communication.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Family members may be driving you mental this week and while their intentions are good, you need to put your foot down so that you don’t put it firmly up their back-side. Don’t let things build up before you explode but rather, address issues before they get out of hand.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
You may have to use your powers of seduction to get what you want this week. Libras think they’re good at subtlety but in reality, not so much. You need to be put first and if that doesn’t happen you may start to feel resentful. Communicate this the best way you can before it is too late.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Since you don’t often let people get close, you are fiercely protective of the ones you do let in. Your friendship has not gone on unappreciated. At the same time your need for privacy may have others questioning your feelings. Don’t worry, your relationships should be based on your feelings, not your Facebook status.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
If you mold too easily into a partner’s life, you eventually will start to resent not having your own. You like to do so much to make others happy and comfortable, but it’s time you let others return the favour. This week, be selfish.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Don’t be afraid to pursue creative endeavors and leave your mark. Who cares what others say or think. At least you are doing something and if it is something you love then it is valid. You may be the subject of some gossip this week. You don’t have to respond, just carry on with what you’re doing. Small minds have the largest mouths.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
It is important to let those you love know how you feel. Be open to new ideas and paths. When you wake each day, bless the ground when you put your feet down. Practice gratitude. Swim as much as you can and eat chocolate. Live in the now, not the what may be.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Your new journey is just beginning. It is a time for change and growth, not sadness. Celebrate what you’ve done so far, how far you’ve come. Bless and release the past and then take those first steps toward your future. Leave everything better than when you found it.